#2b-3
Well, I didn’t get to the remainder. The wine took over. Good debate though… On to age:
At 31 Tolstoy said, “At our age, when you have reached, not merely by the process of thought but with your whole being and your whole life, an awareness of the uselessness and impossibility of seeking enjoyment; when you feel that what seemed like torture has become the only substance of life-work and toil-then searching, anguish, dissatisfaction with yourself, remorse etc.-the attributes of youth-are inappropriate and useless.”
Sounds depressing … reminds my to enjoy what I have now, before I give it up for what I thought I wanted and then get all pissed off that I don’t have what I had because I thought I wanted something else, when really … the now is always okay.
#2a PauSanatoRomnRich the III
Thursday night, I’ve managed down some wine and even more painfully managed to enjoy the debates … those that happened two nights ago. Nothing like doing things important later on.
Tonight’s characters (From left to right… which will be explained later):
Ron Paul: This balding man verging on Gollum look a like is playful. He’s old. He’s real old and each election he attempts he’s getting older, by four years plus another one or two to be safe to account for the stress of running for the narcissistic position of president. He seems to, well be very real. He’s not a man’s man, but a man that will just say his quaint matter-of-fact position on an issue and give you a shoulder shrug like he’s not quite sure what else there is to say or believe. He’ll knock on the table like your grandfather when he’s trying to chime into a heated debate. He’s nice. His voice is too high though.
#1
There’s nothing like a good solid brood … at least a daily brood. This morning it hit, that an eternal brood is definitely unfortunate no matter the desired outcome such as drunk and smokey writer persona or some enigmatic recluse. That daily brood is no use when it bleeds in and out of hazy, sloppy nights and uncomfortable throbbing mornings on a daily basis. This is when it bleeds, it oozes into an constant thing dipping in and out of angst, self doubt, and paranoia. While some of these may be entertaining to live in, from what I’ve found it’s not the best thing to stay in. Depression, is what I’ think it is. Alcoholic depression even. No amount of Beat writing justifies it though … especially when you’re not getting published … or even writing.
From what I’ve gathered, is that a good write out, expression, a good expressive brood in the mornings-or when the blues or brood hits you- tends to take it write out of you.
In writing one will write millions of words and only published or have read a fraction of that: you’ve got to get all the grimy shit out of the way to find that gold nugget … or at least something worth selling at the pawn shop.
Maybe this is true in moods and expressions. We wake up with the blues, and angst a don’t want to face the day sort of thing and find it difficult to start. Maybe you start the brood at night, in the middle of the day, or it’s triggered by something. Regardless of when it’s simply a manifestation of something deeper, something being repressed, something that needs to get out but our minds just aren’t letting it. So brood via yelling, screaming, writing, painting, creating or doing something.
Release the Brood. Let the Brood out.
